remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
And then he peed in my hair
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