you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
