Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
sex in a hospital.. check
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
