So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
