I never want to see another naked old woman again.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
