she was so not down for the gang bang
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
