Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
So vagazzling was a success
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
