Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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