fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
