guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
You smell like stripper and shame
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
