I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
