Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
