So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
