I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
