i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
then he tried to convert me to islam
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
