i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
