Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
