You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I wish there were birth control emojis
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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