We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
