Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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