the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
