He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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