We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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