If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
