i permit you to call me
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
