i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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