My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
