Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
