honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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