My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
