I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
