he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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