Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
She told me I should be a condom model.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
