Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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