I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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