I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
