dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
