so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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