There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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