So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Randomize
