Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
oh god the rape fog is back!
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
