Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
