oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
