you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
And then he peed in my hair
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