I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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