either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
