I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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