we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
