Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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