I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
