at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
