you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Randomize
