Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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