can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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